Monday, January 9, 2012
Well again I find myself apologizing for being MIA for 4 days!
Thursday I decided to do an tech free day as much as possible with my daughter. She's becoming a but hooked on gadgets lately so I want to break the habit. It was a fun day though. "A" had school in the morning and then when I went to pick her up we came home and made a nice lunch and did a couple pages out of her workbook so she can be extra prepared for kindergarten in a year and a half and we spent the rest of the day coloring and playing make believe with some of her other toys.
Friday the couch, chairs and side/coffee tables came. They look amazing and I couldn't be happier with them! We do need to replace one of the chairs though because one has a little tear in it so the replacement will be here on Saturday which is no biggie.
Saturday we did nothing but relax and enjoy the furniture. We all had mimosas and of course "A" had a virgin mimosa, aka orange juice with a couple berries in it to make it look fancy.
Sunday we went out for lunch and and stopped by J Crew, my drug of choice, lol. I got one sweater, a pair of pants and shoes. The actual store didn't have my size in pants and they didn't carry the shoes I wanted to I ordered those. I'm really hoping the shoes are what I'm expecting of them. They're very bright which is something very different then what I normally choose so I hope they're great otherwise I'll exchange them for a more neutral color. I felt so guilty leaving though spending over $300 on one outfit. We have the money so that's not the problem at all it's just I always feel guilty buying things for myself. I always think of all the other things I could have bought for "J" or "A".
Well today I'm going to practice hemming a pair of shorts that are way too big before I attempt a nice pair of jeans. Hopefully it works out.
Oh and before I completely forget, my nurse emailed me Saturday and my beta is completely negative. I'm relieved and hope we can start trying again immediately. I haven't been temping so I need to dig that out and get to it! I need to make sure I don't have another annovulatory cycle after the d&c.
Also while I was trying on clothes I realized I need to tone up big time so I've decided to start an excersize routine this week, wish me luck!
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Happy Hump Day
Well it's Wednesday! Only two more days until my living room furniture is here!! I'm super excited.
Last night was a good one for Jason and I. He came home to a clean house which always makes me happy and a crock pot dinner so the whole house smelled wonderful! We had pot roast and mashed potatoes, yummy. Tonight Jason will be doing the majority of the cooking which is burgers and I'll make baked french fries. I'm getting hungry just thinking about it, lol. Addison was in a good mood yesterday so when she finished dinner we pulled out the ice cream maker and made vanilla ice cream with chopped kit Kat bars inside.
When Addi went to bed Jason and I cleaned up after dinner and went upstairs and had some fun of our own. I forgot how much fun sex is when there's no pressure added to it. I'm actually starting to feel excited to start ttc again though. When we were trying on our own before we would get pregnant within 3 months so I don't think that's our problem however I just hope we win the jackpot so to speak and get a healthy egg the cycle we do get pregnant on. Losses are just too unbearable to continue to go through but I will not give up until our family is complete.
Jason and I have always agreed on wanting three children but the other day he told me that if our second is a boy then we should really think about stopping at two because he doesn't want to continually see me go through losses. I'm not really sure what to think about that. I told him that after the second I wouldn't want to stop trying for the third and maybe do a not try but bot prevent approach for the first year. It's just hard because I've always had a picture of what our family would look like and I hate the thought of "deleting" a child from the picture. I guess I just need to focus on conceiving the second child and see how our family feels at that point and have a heart to heart with Jason when the time comes.
Last night was a good one for Jason and I. He came home to a clean house which always makes me happy and a crock pot dinner so the whole house smelled wonderful! We had pot roast and mashed potatoes, yummy. Tonight Jason will be doing the majority of the cooking which is burgers and I'll make baked french fries. I'm getting hungry just thinking about it, lol. Addison was in a good mood yesterday so when she finished dinner we pulled out the ice cream maker and made vanilla ice cream with chopped kit Kat bars inside.
When Addi went to bed Jason and I cleaned up after dinner and went upstairs and had some fun of our own. I forgot how much fun sex is when there's no pressure added to it. I'm actually starting to feel excited to start ttc again though. When we were trying on our own before we would get pregnant within 3 months so I don't think that's our problem however I just hope we win the jackpot so to speak and get a healthy egg the cycle we do get pregnant on. Losses are just too unbearable to continue to go through but I will not give up until our family is complete.
Jason and I have always agreed on wanting three children but the other day he told me that if our second is a boy then we should really think about stopping at two because he doesn't want to continually see me go through losses. I'm not really sure what to think about that. I told him that after the second I wouldn't want to stop trying for the third and maybe do a not try but bot prevent approach for the first year. It's just hard because I've always had a picture of what our family would look like and I hate the thought of "deleting" a child from the picture. I guess I just need to focus on conceiving the second child and see how our family feels at that point and have a heart to heart with Jason when the time comes.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
A catch up post from the weekend
First a quick apology for no posts over the holiday weekend.
First on Saturday we went over to my mothers house so that my daughter could play with some of her cousins but the tension was too much because my mother and I are currently not speaking, it's a very long story but to get the gist of it she shows me zero respect and has diarrhea of the mouth and I'm tired of it. Growing up she wasn't the best mother and I spent most of my time at my grandparents house so this is nothing new except for the fact that I've realized I'm old enough to decide who I allow in my life but I'm struggling on if I cut her off completely from my daughter as well because I don't want her to hurt her like she's hurt me over and over again. Anyways, Addison, my daughter had a blast playing with her cousins so it was worth the trip over there. Jason, my husband, and I came so close to actually staying up till midnight but it was a bust and we passed out at like 11:30-11:45pm ish. I woke up just after midnight because people were lighting fireworks outside and it scared the crap out of me, lol.
Sunday Jason took the Christmas tree down which I was ready to see go. We also decided that we were going to get new living room furniture that day because our sectional that we currently have has a tear in it and the pillows are just sagging too much and it drives me nutty! It's a pottery barn sectional which I over paid for so I def learned my lesson that there stuff is not made for quality. Anyways,we went out to Haverty's and bought a leather sofa, two cloth upholstered chairs, two side tables and a coffee table. The couch is def more of a modern style which isn't something I typically go for but in the store it looked so pretty and Jason loves a more modern style anyways so it was a good fit for us both, plus the two side chairs really even it out between modern and traditional. The furniture won't be here until Friday but I'll take a picture and post it when it arrives so I can get your opinions on it. Also, that night Jason and I had sex for the first time since my d&c so I'm healed and ready to start ttc again. I'm unsure if I want to wait until a have one normal period before we officially start trying or if I should go for it this cycle. I still need to start temping soon so that I don't have an annovulatory cycle like I did with my last d&c.
Monday Jason had off of work so we had a next breakfast at home and then relaxed all morning. We went to chipotle for lunch because we've both been craving it for two weeks now and we had to go to target anyways and they're right next to each other. While at target I got my first sewing machine. I'm crazy because I want to make our own curtains to match our new furniture when it arrives. We went to the fabric store afterwards and they had really nice Ralph Lauren fabric but I'm not going to start with the curtains so I got a cute fabric that matches Addison's room and I made her a little throw pillow for her bed. I need to go out and buy a button to button it shut but over all it looks really good and once the button is on I'll post a pick of that as well. Addison loves the pillow already and slept with it last night so I was happy. I do need new thread because we bought a starter kit and the thread in that was HORRIBLE and kept breaking on me so I was getting frustrated with constantly having to re-thread the machine. I need to find another "easy" project to do before I move to curtains and throw pillows for our new couch.
As for today, I need to catch up on some major cleaning! My house is disgusting from my lack of effort lately. I was in a real funk after this lost but I think I'm snapping out of it. It sucks and that won't change but I can at least focus on other things besides something I can't change. Since we're going to be ttc again I was thinking about going out and getting some sexy bras and panties to surprise Jason with to make things fun again since there's nothing fun or sexy with IVF.any suggestions on where to get some sexy things please let me know.
So that's all folks, I'm all caught up now. I think the weekends will be hard for me to post but I'll try my hardest. Also for now I might have more random posts like today's since I'm in limbo land after the d&c.
First on Saturday we went over to my mothers house so that my daughter could play with some of her cousins but the tension was too much because my mother and I are currently not speaking, it's a very long story but to get the gist of it she shows me zero respect and has diarrhea of the mouth and I'm tired of it. Growing up she wasn't the best mother and I spent most of my time at my grandparents house so this is nothing new except for the fact that I've realized I'm old enough to decide who I allow in my life but I'm struggling on if I cut her off completely from my daughter as well because I don't want her to hurt her like she's hurt me over and over again. Anyways, Addison, my daughter had a blast playing with her cousins so it was worth the trip over there. Jason, my husband, and I came so close to actually staying up till midnight but it was a bust and we passed out at like 11:30-11:45pm ish. I woke up just after midnight because people were lighting fireworks outside and it scared the crap out of me, lol.
Sunday Jason took the Christmas tree down which I was ready to see go. We also decided that we were going to get new living room furniture that day because our sectional that we currently have has a tear in it and the pillows are just sagging too much and it drives me nutty! It's a pottery barn sectional which I over paid for so I def learned my lesson that there stuff is not made for quality. Anyways,we went out to Haverty's and bought a leather sofa, two cloth upholstered chairs, two side tables and a coffee table. The couch is def more of a modern style which isn't something I typically go for but in the store it looked so pretty and Jason loves a more modern style anyways so it was a good fit for us both, plus the two side chairs really even it out between modern and traditional. The furniture won't be here until Friday but I'll take a picture and post it when it arrives so I can get your opinions on it. Also, that night Jason and I had sex for the first time since my d&c so I'm healed and ready to start ttc again. I'm unsure if I want to wait until a have one normal period before we officially start trying or if I should go for it this cycle. I still need to start temping soon so that I don't have an annovulatory cycle like I did with my last d&c.
Monday Jason had off of work so we had a next breakfast at home and then relaxed all morning. We went to chipotle for lunch because we've both been craving it for two weeks now and we had to go to target anyways and they're right next to each other. While at target I got my first sewing machine. I'm crazy because I want to make our own curtains to match our new furniture when it arrives. We went to the fabric store afterwards and they had really nice Ralph Lauren fabric but I'm not going to start with the curtains so I got a cute fabric that matches Addison's room and I made her a little throw pillow for her bed. I need to go out and buy a button to button it shut but over all it looks really good and once the button is on I'll post a pick of that as well. Addison loves the pillow already and slept with it last night so I was happy. I do need new thread because we bought a starter kit and the thread in that was HORRIBLE and kept breaking on me so I was getting frustrated with constantly having to re-thread the machine. I need to find another "easy" project to do before I move to curtains and throw pillows for our new couch.
As for today, I need to catch up on some major cleaning! My house is disgusting from my lack of effort lately. I was in a real funk after this lost but I think I'm snapping out of it. It sucks and that won't change but I can at least focus on other things besides something I can't change. Since we're going to be ttc again I was thinking about going out and getting some sexy bras and panties to surprise Jason with to make things fun again since there's nothing fun or sexy with IVF.any suggestions on where to get some sexy things please let me know.
So that's all folks, I'm all caught up now. I think the weekends will be hard for me to post but I'll try my hardest. Also for now I might have more random posts like today's since I'm in limbo land after the d&c.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Beta results are officially in
This post is going to be quick but I wanted to let you know that my beta went from 565 to 31!!!! I go back this Friday to follow it down to zero but I couldn't be happier with this news!! Happy new years eve and be safe! Husband and I are going to stay in and try to stay up for the ball drop but I doubt we'll make it, lol.
Hoping for a low beta...never thought I'd say that!
So I'm expecting to receive my beta results today and hope that I get a nice low number! Last results I received were from 12/24 and they were 385. They did a beta on 12/27 before the d&c but I have no idea what it is yet but should find that out today as well. I just want to move on already and put this IVF nightmare behind me so I can try again naturally.
I couldn't be happier that today is the last day of 2011! Bring it 2012, lol.
Well my husband is rushing me to get ready. We're going to have a playdate of sorts with family. I'll post an update with beta number later today.
Have a great day!
I couldn't be happier that today is the last day of 2011! Bring it 2012, lol.
Well my husband is rushing me to get ready. We're going to have a playdate of sorts with family. I'll post an update with beta number later today.
Have a great day!
Friday, December 30, 2011
My first post and a little back story
So 2011 is wrapping up now and it can't be gone soon enough. My husband and I have been trying to conceive for over 16 months now and within that time frame we've had 1 chemical pregnancy, 1 missed miscarriage before I was diagnosed with a balanced translocation. We decided to try IVF with PGD in order to avoid more heartache and to insure that we would have a healthy pregnancy. Well our first cycle ended up being cancelled after the egg retrieval because my doctor took a very conservative approach and I paid the price. We went into another cycle immediately after and on day 5 after retrieval we had one blast that passed the genetic testing. Well my betas came back positive but were very low and stopped doubling after the third beta. My heart was and still is broken. I ended up having a d&c, yet again, on 12/27 and I hope that my beta drops down so we can try again but naturally this time. I figured I can miscarry for free on my own so why pay thousands of dollars to have the same results.
My husband and I are blessed to have an almost 4 year old daughter naturally before we knew about my translocation. We can't help but feel as if she's our miracle child. We will continue to try to complete our family though and hopefully 2012 will bring us a better outcome.
Well sorry for rambling but I wanted to try to give a quick back story for anyone who wants to read and follow my story. My goal is to try to post something new everyday in order to keep my sanity. I think this blog is going to be a good source for me to get all my thoughts out rather then holding them in. I hope by letting out my frustrations and feelings I can let go of some of the stress that follows with trying to conceive.
My husband and I are blessed to have an almost 4 year old daughter naturally before we knew about my translocation. We can't help but feel as if she's our miracle child. We will continue to try to complete our family though and hopefully 2012 will bring us a better outcome.
Well sorry for rambling but I wanted to try to give a quick back story for anyone who wants to read and follow my story. My goal is to try to post something new everyday in order to keep my sanity. I think this blog is going to be a good source for me to get all my thoughts out rather then holding them in. I hope by letting out my frustrations and feelings I can let go of some of the stress that follows with trying to conceive.
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